Nobody listens to anything I say.

I explain the directions for the day. I write the directions on the board. I explain the directions again. I have them turn to their partners and answer questions about the directions (like "What do we do with our tests when we're done with them?" "What voice level is appropriate?" etc).  I ask individual students questions about the directions. I read the directions aloud one more time.

I still have 7 kids per class try to hand their test to me when they finish it instead of leaving it on their desks like I asked.