That Time I Swore in Class

*this blog contains language that may be inappropriate for children, unless those children go to a junior high, and then the language is actually pretty tame*

I would be lying if I said I don't have a bit of a potty mouth.  I feel like teaching junior high makes it so there is a constant chorus of "What the hell?!" ringing in my brain. I never know why the crazy shenanigans are happening at any given moment in my class, but for the most part I try to keep my swearing on the inside of my brain.

One day we had a lock down drill. It was actually super scary.  They always tell us when to expect fire drills but we hadn't heard anything about a lock down. My brain started thinking about how I was going to have to sacrifice myself to save these kids when some crazed gunman came barging into the room... It was not a good experience.

When the speakers came on and announced that we were in a lock down I rushed my kids to the back corner of the classroom and hushed them. I was trying really hard to look like I wasn't losing my cool.  After about 10 minutes of silence one of my students timidly asked "Ms. Teacher, where is Michael?" I blinked at that student for a second and then realized in a panic that Michael had taken the hall pass and was somewhere roaming the halls during the terrifying lock down. I wish I could say that I handled this situation with a calm and collected suaveness.  Here's how I actually handled the situation: by yelling "SHIT!"

It's a good thing that this  was just a lock down drill and not an actual lock down because my class lost it.  "DID YOU JUST SWEAR?!" "Oh my gosh, I am texting everyone I know immediately." "I didn't think you were the type of teacher that swears." "My mom makes me pay her a dollar when I say that word." "I have so much more respect for you now."

I didn't know what to do about Michael so I army-crawled my way over to my desk and typed a quick email to the administration explaining that I lost a student.  Don't worry, Michael came back after the lock down ended. He said he spent the lock down in another teacher's room and they ate candy and played on their phones.  Everyone told Michael that even though he got candy and played on his phone he missed out because they got to hear the teacher swear.

Eventually I just started pretending like the swearing incident never occurred. Anytime one of my students brought it up (which happened a lot) I would gasp, all horrified, and say "I would NEVER speak with that kind of language," I figure if it comes down to me or my students people are most likely going to choose to believe me, even if I am lying liar.