Actual Things I Said

I've posted before about saying things I never thought I would say in a classroom, but it happens so often that I'm thinking I should probably turn it into a series, so I present to you

Actual Things That I Said In My Classroom This Week

"Please don't wear nylons over your face in class."

"Let's not talk about mass murder today."

"No one is allowed to stab anyone else with the compass."

"Can you tell me why you thought having a water fight in class would be a good idea?"

"Don't rub your bloody finger on me ever again please."

"If  you crawl out the window again then I have to mark you truant."

Teenagers say the darndest things. (8)

I decided to hold off and post when I had a few good student quotes built up instead of posting each time a student said something funny.

Me (to the student who showed up to class in a banana costume): Hey, um, can I ask you why you wore a banana costume to school today?
Student: It sounded a-PEEL-ing! Hahahahahahahahaha

A student is staring off into space instead of working on his test.
Me: Hello? Are you going to do your test?
Student: Yeah, I dropped my pencil a few minutes ago and I don't want to pick it up.
Me (while picking up his pencil): You are the epitome of lazy.
Student: The pimp money of lazy?! What does that mean?!

Me: No eating bugs in my classroom.
Student: What if we take it out in the hall to eat it?
Me: Why are you making me answer that?
(Note: They didn't understand the sarcasm and they actually took it out in the hall and ate it.)

"Ms. Teacher, do you think we could have a class discussion on if a hippo is a dinosaur or not?"

Click below for past posts of teenagers saying the darndest things.
7     6     5     4     3     2     1 

Happy Pi Day, guys!

I am scheduling this post to post on March 14 and exactly 9:26am because that, my friends, is the exact moment of THE PI DAY OF THE CENTURY.

My students told me already that I'm a giant nerd, but I don't actually care too much because, as I told my students, this holiday is literally the only exciting thing about being a math teacher, and I am going to live it up. 

We had a Pi Day party in my classes on Friday. For this party I thought it would be super cute to make some pi-shaped cookies.  I have no idea why I thought that was something that I was capable of  doing, because I have never made a sugar cookie by myself. It was a much bigger ordeal than I thought it would be, but by the end of 300+ cookies, I am a pro.

pi cookies covering my entire kitchen

The finished product!

We read a book about pi, watched some video clips about pi, ate pi(e) and pi-shaped cookies, and made a pi chain to decorate the classroom. I also gave some pi party favors (pencils and temporary tattoos).  Overall it was an excellent day and the kids loved it (probably mostly because we didn't have to do math that day, but I'm choosing to ignore that part and focus instead on how excited they were about a math party).  

That Time We Made a Gratitude Tree

My 6th hour students spend a few minutes every day working on a Classy program that the school implemented. It's actually pretty cool. We talk about things like showing gratitude and serving. My class decided they wanted to start making a gratitude tree. Basically you write things you're grateful for on the leaves and then watch the tree grow as your gratitude grows. Cheesy, right? We've only been working on it for a couple days, but it's looking pretty good.

Yesterday I found this on it:

At least they're honest, right? 

How I feel when I grab exactly the right amount of paper for the copy machine:

I can't live without you.

You can't make this stuff up.

There's this drama queen in school (but let's be real, what 14 year old girl isn't a drama queen?) who has the most chaotic love life. She is constantly breaking up with people and falling in love with people and every little thing is the most dramatic, life-altering thing that has ever happened to her.

She dated this kid for a while and then they got in a fight and she said to him "I want you out of my life, I never want to see you again." He would have been worried except that this was the 6th (or so) time she had said that within the week.  He wanted to get back at her though, so he found some fake blood, squirted it all over his chest, wrapped himself in gauze, and headed to school.  He waited until she found him by his locker and then he said to her "If you don't want me in your life then I don't want to live anymore" and then he pulled up his shirt and showed her the "wound".  Other kids told me that she nearly passed out when she saw it. She told me that she burst into tears. He laughed, she kept crying. She didn't speak to him for two entire days.

They're back together now, or at least they were 20 minutes ago. Who knows what could have happened since then.